Pictems
Michael (Admin) | Aug 6, 2008 Photo & Video
(1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading ...
Got a crappy photo on your iPhone that you want to dress up? Got one that’s already disgustingly cute and you want to make it even cuter? Pictems to the rescue! Well, sort of…
Pictems is basically a clipart library that you can add to photos piece-by-piece. The pieces are grouped as follows:
Accessories
Costumes (subgroups: Wicked Witch, Bunny, Cat, Cave Man, Clown)
Faces (subgroups: Noses, Eyes, Teeth, Ears)
Frames
Hair
Jokes
When you browse the item categories for the first time, it might seem like there’s a lot to choose from but the (lack of) variety gets very stale very fast. Look at the costume groupings. Those five costume themes compose about 80% of the clipart. On the plus side, adding and resizing these little costume pieces is pretty easy. Touch the piece of clipart you want to adjust and when you see a white box appear around the piece you can move it with one finger or resize and rotate with two fingers.
Despite certain options that are lacking such as free transform (change height and width independently of each other) and layer ordering (what overlaps what), it’s pretty easy to use the available clipart and put the pieces where you want them. Other options include remove the last item placed, remove all of the items… and if you remove all it can’t be undone because there’s no Undo Button, kind of a pain… and flip an item so it’s properly oriented for people facing left or right.
I bought this application hoping that I’d be able to make my friends look like idiots, but truth is I’m afraid that if I Pictem-ize a photo and send it around the only one who’s gonna look like an idiot is me. The clipart is all pretty juvenile stuff which would be great if I had kids and wanted to email photos of them to grandma, but I’m single and in my 30s and putting bunny ears on my 30-something friends kind of screams LOSER more than HaHa, and even if I did have kids I’m sure grandma would be pretty sick of clown hair and cat eyes by the third or fourth photo. Oh well – that’s what I get for not reading the full description of the app carefully. Notice that their screenshot in the App Store is of a baby! That should have been a big hint that this app isn’t for me.
With that said, I think it’s pretty clear where I stand here: Pictems is (probably) fun for parents with small children, but that fun will wear out fast unless Starchy Tuber adds a ton more of their crappy clipart. However, if you’re an adult with no interest in sharing the supposed cuteness of children with your pals then this app is most likely going to be a waste of your time and $2.99.
How could Pictems have not disappointed me so? I would have been far more content with artwork that’s more geared towards social situations and funny stereotypes (ie: the Office Tramp) than a Halloween party… stuff that lets me point out how stupid this guy is, how drunk that guy is, how bored everyone in the picture is, that kind of thing. And I wouldn’t be charging $2.99 for the app either. I’d be giving it away for free and then selling themed artwork packages, kind of like Photoshop plugins.
Hopefully Starchy Tuber will release something for grownups and give current Pictem customers a free “upgrade” for giving them a chance on this very parent-oriented exercise in photo editing mediocrity.
-
- Check out the before (top) and after (bottom) examples... even those are lame!
-
- Some of the Super Hilarious items Pictems provides
-
- The editor is pretty barebones, probably a good thing for the clueless masses
-
- Looks like something I got at a theme park
-
- As close to "funny" as Pictems will ever come
-
- This is just about everything in Pictem's clipart library as of 8/6/08 (a few got cut off)
Tags: $2.99, photo editing, photos
(4.80 out of 5)