Fox News UReport

Fox News Digital wants ME to report the news! If they knew what a jackass I am they’d probably rethink that proposal.

This app is super simple. Its sole purpose is to let you “take or select pictures of news happening around you and send them directly to FOX News Channel from your iPhone.” If the brains at Fox deem your submission newsworthy, it gets used either online or on TV. Just open the app, take a picture or choose one from your Camera Roll, and submit it to Fox via the app’s built-in email submission form.

I’m a big fan of citizen journalism, but I have kind of a hard time seeing myself using Fox News UReport to do anything but waste some poor intern’s time with pictures of myself on the throne. If I had anything truly newsworthy on my iPhone, would I be sending it to a national news outlet through such an informal channel? Ehhh maybe. If the story’s very small and local, like pictures of a house burning to the ground, then sure. But if Barack Obama’s in the house and John McCain is standing outside with a can of gasoline, I’d probably skip UReport and go for the exclusive deal ‘cuz I gotz ta’ get PAID.

But not everyone is as shallow and greedy as I am. If you happen to be on the scene of something hot and want to see if your photos make the evening news, go ahead and send something to Fox. Who knows, Bill O. might even salute you in his Talking Points Memos. Just be ready for Keith Olbermann to dub you The Worst Person in the World.