Band Boss
Michael (Admin) | Dec 29, 2011 Games
User rating: 
(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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Band Boss ($0.99) by Jack Herbert
Available on iPhone only
Ok… either Band Boss is a really good game, or I’m just incredibly bored! It’s probably a little of both. I mean, I’ve been sitting here for literally 4 hours playing this damn game and I don’t even like these so-called “simulations”. The simulations I hate are those games where you build an “army” and “attack” people but it’s all text based and there’s a lot of waiting around. Band Boss is definitely a simulation and it’s pretty much all text, but instead of commanding an army you’re managing a band and, unlike other games in this genre, it keeps things simple so you can focus on the task at hand which is your band’s success.
You get to choose from actual (albeit small and relatively unknown) bands to manage or you can make up your own, and then it’s up to you to make them popular and rich. I don’t know a thing about the music biz, but apparently popularity is gained by releasing new music (which costs money) and money is made by touring (during which you can’t release new music, thereby eroding your popularity). If you know what the hell you’re doing, you’ll be able to strike a balance that will gradually turn your group of losers into mega-rich superstars.
Tags: simulation
Paid app reviews are bad app reviews
Michael (Admin) | Dec 26, 2011 News & Editorials
User rating: (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5) Loading ...I’m gonna take a break from reviewing apps right now to rag on someone else’s website even though it means giving them undeserved publicity in the process!
The other day I came across a press release for this ass-ugly website called reviewroster.com. Wanna guess what they do? They “connect (app) developers with (app review) publishers” and, somewhere in the middle, money will change hands with Review Roster taking a cut.
The reason I’m bringing this up is just so I can call Bullshit! I’ve made it clear in the past that iPhone App Reviews.net does not do paid reviews. It’s true that we did a brief experiment where developers could pay for something called POV which was a point-counterpoint kind of thing (here’s an example), but it wasn’t long before I voluntarily flushed it down the toilet. Money was being made, but I didn’t like how it was being made, so I unilaterally crushed the program with extreme prejudice.
The point is, if you’re reading app reviews at websites that have been paid to write those reviews, what you’re reading is almost certainly a big steaming pile of BS. Think about it… when a customer gives you money, you’re going to want that customer to give you more money in the future, and possibly pissing off said customer with a negative review is bad for business… so the writer is compelled to handle the relationship gently and carefully, and in the end it’s readers who are robbed of the truly unbiased opinion they’re looking for.
Unfortunately for readers like you, and fortunately for sites like Review Roster, there will always be developers willing to do the shady thing and pay to get their app reviewed. But don’t get the wrong idea here… a lot of app developers despise the concept of paid reviews, and I know this because I conducted an informal poll before hatching my short-lived POV thing. I just hope the websites that Review Roster is targeting are above participating in such shenanigans. Yeah I know, people gotz ta get paid, but selling your credibility is the wrong way to do it.
Merry Christmas
Michael (Admin) | Dec 25, 2011 Website Stuff
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Flying Santa Cat
Michael (Admin) | Dec 25, 2011 Games
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Flying Santa Cat (free) by DAN-BALL
Available on iPhone & iPod Touch
I love games like this! There’s nothing to learn, no levels to advance through, no rules to think about… just get your weird little Santa Cat to fling his bag of toys as far as physics will allow. It’s not quite as funny as Sapus Tongue, but it’s just as fun and addictive.
Your first instinct may be to gently rub your iPhone screen at the start of the game to get Santa Cat going down the hill, but to get any distance you’ll need to rub like you’ve never rubbed before. Run your finger back and forth across the screen like you’re trying to put a hole in it, and then a couple of well-timed taps will launch your sleigh and bag of toys in the air like a two stage rocket. The hardest part is timing the final fling of the toy bag ‘cuz if you don’t do it fast enough Santa Cat will just chuck it directly at the ground, but you’ll get the hang of it fast enough.
Flying Santa Cat may not stay on your iPhone or iPad for very long because of the Christmas theme, but since it’s Christmas now go ahead and grab it! It’s fun. And it’s free. And I dare you to knock me off the leaderboard!
Annoying Christmas
Michael (Admin) | Dec 24, 2011 Entertainment
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Annoying Christmas (1$) by Baboonix
Available on iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad
Christmas is The Most Wonderful Time of the Year… for sending idiotic yet strangely festive videos to your friends and family! In a world where nearly every Christmas app is aimed at spreading cheer and good will, Annoying Christmas is uniquely positioned to capitalize on all the smartasses who are just itching to spread stupidity instead which I think is 100% awesome.
Annoying Christmas provides a small set of templates to choose from, then you record a video of yourself saying some really stupid shit while keeping your head relatively still, and then *voila* you’ve got a pretty weird video that you can upload directly to Annoying Christmas’ YouTube channel and share with loved ones whether they want you to or not!
Truth is, you don’t HAVE to be annoying. This app can be used for good as well as evil, so if you want to say nice things and sing Christmas carols while your eyes and mouth are stuck in a Christmas ornament or on a gift box, then by all means have at it. It’s fun! And it’s weird. And it’s potentially hilarious.
This first video below is yours truly. It’s a close approximation of the faces and noises I’d be making if I was doing the nasty with Angelina Jolie.
iTree’4′Christmas
Michael (Admin) | Dec 24, 2011 Entertainment
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iTree’4′Christmas ($0,99) by iJeem Factory S.L.
Available on iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad
Decorate a Christmas tree, turn on the lights, and admire it in all its glory while you listen to a nice piano rendition of Silent Night on an endless loop as snow falls gently from the night sky. There! I just described iTree’4′Christmas from head to toe.
It’s not the sexiest app I’ve ever seen, but the resulting tree is nice and I’m sooooo glad iJeem Factory made it so you can actually turn the tree’s Christmas lights on. Dragging tree decorations from their little boxes at the top of the screen can be hard at times (fat-fingered tree decorators beware), and I wish you could take in the tree, music, and animated snow without the control buttons present, but other than that iTree’4′Christmas is alright in my book. The app’s built-in screenshot button is also a nice touch in case you want to use your tree creation as a background image.
Finding Santa Christmas Special
Michael (Admin) | Dec 24, 2011 Games
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Finding Santa Christmas Special ($0.99) by Nob Studio
Available on iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad
You know how a game can be so simple that it’s obviously made for kids, except grownups get sucked into playing it because they can’t believe how f’ing frustrating it is? This is one of those games!
It’s kind of like Present Hunt except a million times better in terms of production value and originality. Keep in mind, though, Finding Santa is still a very basic find-the-characters challenge that’s set in a series of buildings where Christmas elves and other characters frolic in little rooms, gift boxes, and endless conga lines. The frustration and inevitable humiliation comes in trying to spot Santa and his pals among all the Christmas mess before time starts robbing you of stars.
Christmas Story
Michael (Admin) | Dec 22, 2011 Games
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Christmas Story (Free) by Animoca
Available on iPhone & iPod Touch
Christmas Story is a time-management game, a lot like Sally’s Spa, where you have customers coming into your toy store and you’re supposed to take them around to various stations before grabbing their money and kicking them out the door. The customers are children, so if you’re too slow at giving them what they want their eyes will well up with tears and eventually they’ll start bawling and run away screaming. Personally I think it’s funny when kids cry and run away, but that kind of defeats the purpose of this game.
Present Hunt
Michael (Admin) | Dec 22, 2011 Games
User rating: (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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Present Hunt ($0.99) by Zivix LLC
Available on iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad
A lot of times I like suggesting that you take this game or that and hand it to your child, or maybe your husband, to keep him busy! That’s usually a sign that I think a game is playable, but it’s not really interesting enough for the more sophisticated grownup’s brain.
If you hand Present Hunt to your kid, though, it might just make him cry and feel like a huge failure. It’s a little like Where’s Waldo, except you’re supposed to use your superior skills of observation to find little gift boxes hidden among a sea of Christmas crap! It’s pretty tough. There are wreaths, and gingerbread men, and bells, and snowflakes, and all manner of holiday items that pretty much cover the game board, and somewhere in this mess there are gift boxes that you need to drag into Santa’s Bag to score points.
Christmas Cam
Michael (Admin) | Dec 21, 2011 Photo & Video
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Christmas Cam (free) by CamMax
Available on iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad
If you wanna make your holiday pics look all Christmas-ey without laying out any cash, Christmas Cam might be what you’re looking for! It comes with 12 photo templates that include, among other things, a santa hat, a very Frosty-looking snowman, and numerous Christmas-themed decorations.
Multitouch gestures let you rotate, resize, and flip the elements you’re adding to your pics and overall it’s all done pretty well. There are some kind of annoying shortcomings, though, like if you flip anything that says “Merry Christmas” on it, the words get flipped too so you wind up with a backwards samtsirhC yrreM, and if you want everyone in your pic to be wearing a santa hat… well… sorry, you’re screwed unless you want to add a hat, save the pic, then load it and add another, etc.
Christmas Cam is designed to handle portrait-oriented photos but doesn’t really cooperate with landscape pics. If you can get past that and the other small nuisances, this app is actually pretty decent. The 12 photo templates that are included are all nice and festive, and you can upgrade to the “pro” version for 32 templates ‘n things.
Baublez Xmas Free
Michael (Admin) | Dec 21, 2011 Games
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Baublez (Free) by ArtefactGames
Available on iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad
It wouldn’t really be Christmas without a holiday-themed Match 3 game, now would it? Baublez Xmas is your basic Match 3 challenge where your job is to create a string of three or more Christmas ornaments to score points and make stuff explode. There are powerups mixed in that help keep things interesting, and if you get stuck the game will give you a little hint as to where you can make your next move.
This isn’t the greatest Match 3 game I’ve ever seen, but it’s free and the Christmas ornaments look nice & shiny! If nothing else it’s something fun you can hand to your 10 year old to keep the kid occupied while you’re cruising the shopping malls.
Xmas Find in Difference
Michael (Admin) | Dec 16, 2011 Games
User rating: (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Xmas Find in Difference (2011 Christmas Hits) (Free) by iMobile Worldwide
Available on iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad
Ok, so the name of this Christmas-themed game is a little weird, but the game itself is ok! It’s one of those “find the difference” games where you have two mostly identical photos and you have to tap on the spots where the photos differ.
You get three “lifelines” for when you’re stuck and time is running out, making a wrong guess takes 5 seconds off the clock, and overall this game is pretty barebones but it’s Christmasey and it gets the job done. The music is cute at first, but if you play long enough you’ll get really sick of hearing dogs barking Jingle Bells over and over again, but hey it’s free and if you have kids they’ll probably like it.
