The other day I came across a press release for this ass-ugly website called reviewroster.com. Wanna guess what they do? They “connect (app) developers with (app review) publishers” and, somewhere in the middle, money will change hands with Review Roster taking a cut.

The reason I’m bringing this up is just so I can call Bullshit! I’ve made it clear in the past that iPhone App Reviews.net does not do paid reviews. It’s true that we did a brief experiment where developers could pay for something called POV which was a point-counterpoint kind of thing (here’s an example), but it wasn’t long before I voluntarily flushed it down the toilet. Money was being made, but I didn’t like how it was being made, so I unilaterally crushed the program with extreme prejudice.

The point is, if you’re reading app reviews at websites that have been paid to write those reviews, what you’re reading is almost certainly a big steaming pile of BS. Think about it… when a customer gives you money, you’re going to want that customer to give you more money in the future, and possibly pissing off said customer with a negative review is bad for business… so the writer is compelled to handle the relationship gently and carefully, and in the end it’s readers who are robbed of the truly unbiased opinion they’re looking for.

Unfortunately for readers like you, and fortunately for sites like Review Roster, there will always be developers willing to do the shady thing and pay to get their app reviewed. But don’t get the wrong idea here… a lot of app developers despise the concept of paid reviews, and I know this because I conducted an informal poll before hatching my short-lived POV thing. I just hope the websites that Review Roster is targeting are above participating in such shenanigans. Yeah I know, people gotz ta get paid, but selling your credibility is the wrong way to do it.

Steve Jobs 1955-2011

iPhone App Reviews.net is still undergoing some much-needed overhauling before our soon-to-be “official” relaunch, but in the wake of Steve Jobs’ death on October 5th it seems appropriate to pause and acknowledge what this man has done with the tech industry and how his innovations have changed millions of peoples’ lifestyles including my own.

It’s hard to imagine a world without all the kickass stuff that Apple has created under Jobs’ leadership. I mean, really… no iPods? It’s kind of scary to think where MP3 players would be today if the bar were set low enough.

Even scarier is where smartphones would be. Would Blackberry rule that world? Maybe Palm OS would have made a comeback? Android probably wouldn’t exist if Jobs and Apple hadn’t laid the groundwork and set the standard that smartphones are now expected to live up to.

And then there’s everything else from iTunes (you’re welcome, music industry) to the App Store (an industry in itself) to the iPad’s single-handed spawning of an actual tablet PC market. Yeah, tablets have been around for a really long time but did you know anybody who owned one before the iPad came along? I didn’t think so!

I can’t really say that Steve Jobs “changed my life” but he and his fellow Apple geniuses have definitely changed the way I live parts of it. For starters, I created this iPhone App Reviews blog! It was really kind of an accident, but in 2008 I was so in love with my shiny new iPhone 3G that I started blogging about it and next thing I knew Bluehost was shutting IAR down because I was getting too much traffic. And aside from IAR, every day I wake up and the first thing I reach for is my iPhone 4 to check weather, email, and other junk I used to have to do at a desk. When I settle in on a bus or subway train I can either stare at hot girls who inevitably get creeped out and dial 911… or I can listen to Mötley Crüe and fixate on a game of Catan which is much less socially awkward. And no matter where I am, I’m an annoying know-it-all because, let’s face it, that label applies to pretty much anyone whose smartphone is smart enough.

So, thank you to Steve Jobs. And goodbye. I know there are lots of brains at Apple who deserve credit for helping to develop his ideas and make them reality, but it takes a real “visionary” to make a company like Apple the Cinderella story that it is.

And in case you shun both Facebook and Twitter, here are all the wise and inspirational Steve Jobs quotes you’ve been missing out on:

“I want to put a ding in the universe.”

———-♦———-

“My position coming back to Apple was that our industry was in a coma. It reminded me of Detroit in the 70s, when American cars were boats on wheels.”

———-♦———-

“The most compelling reason for most people to buy a computer for the home will be to link it to a nationwide communications network. We’re just in the beginning stages of what will be a truly remarkable breakthrough for most people – as remarkable as the telephone.”

———-♦———-

“That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.”

———-♦———-

“Picasso had a saying: ‘Good artists copy, great artists steal.’ We have always been shameless about stealing great ideas … I think part of what made the Macintosh great was that the people working on it were musicians, poets, artists, zoologists and historians who also happened to be the best computer scientists in the world.”

———-♦———-

“… You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

———-♦———-

“My model for business is The Beatles. They were four guys who kept each other’s kind of negative tendencies in check. They balanced each other and the total was greater than the sum of the parts. That’s how I see business: great things in business are never done by one person, they’re done by a team of people.”

———-♦———-

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water or do you want a chance to change the world?”

———-♦———-

“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful … that’s what matters to me.”

———-♦———-

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”

———-♦———-

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

———-♦———-

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

———-♦———-

“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘no’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

———-♦———-

“We’ve built in a technology called Adaptive Semantic Latent Analysis… now what is this? I dunno but it works” (I posted this one myself because all the other ones seemed a little heavy-handed!)

Trickshot Games is about to release a potentially fun game where you have to protect some cheese from a horde of evil (or possibly just hungry) mice. The working title is “Mouse Madness”, but hopefully you can come up with something far more clever. Your reward? 5 promo codes for yourself and your pals and, far more importantly, credit within the game. I have no idea if this game will be awesome to the max or shamefully bad, but I like the idea of letting the masses come up with the game title.

Check out the screenshots and if you have some brilliant ideas then post them in the comment box (not here, over there).

How about... MOUSE MADNESS! Wait that's already taken... then what about ALL MICE GO TO HELL! Hmm, I dunno...

I’m sure the crosswords are great and nearly impossible as all NY Times crosswords are for dummies such as myself, but this app requires that you pay for a subscription. Was a subscription required with the app was $5.99 back in September? I have no idea, but if you really want to do crossword puzzles on your iPhone go with 2 Across. There’s a free lite version and the full version costs $5.99, but it has puzzles that range from People Magazine’s crossword for morons to more difficult puzzles from big newspapers.

The moral of the story, I guess, is that The New York Times doesn’t give its crossword puzzles away! So don’t get too excited about the price of the app being lowered. :x :x :x

This is the app that, over the past week, has been written about over and over and over again… and now Pepsi is apologizing for it.

Apologizing is definitely the right move from a PR standpoint, but I’m just gonna come out and say what everyone else is apparently afraid to… AMP UP BEFORE YOUR SCORE IS FUNNY! Sorry ladies, I know it probably pisses off some of you, but for the rest who can see this app for the joke that it’s clearly intended to be, it’s pretty hilarious.

AMP UP Before Your Score is a very tongue-in-cheek guide to “scoring” with 24 different types of women who range from Aspiring Actress to Indie Girl to Trouble and everything in between. For each type there are numerous ways of engaging the lady that include pickup lines and various conversation starters that are customized for each personality. If you’re talking to Goth Girl, Before Your Score provides a list of vampires and goth bands. If you’re talking to Political Girl, the app launches an in-app browser and loads Obama’s Twitter account and some recent political news items. Pepsi went the distance here and actually put some thought into each content item and the result, although unfortunate for feminism, is an app that’s packed with some hysterically crude humor.

Are guys REALLY gonna use this app to pick up girls? OMG I hope not! I want to reiterate for all male readers, this app is a joke. It’s meant to be funny, not useful! If you’re actually trying to memorize everything in this app before talking to a girl, getting a date is probably the least of your problems. So, with that said…

Whether you’re looking to get angry, looking for a laugh, or just looking out of morbid curiosity, get AMP UP Before Your Score now while it’s still available and judge for yourself whether it’s offensive or funny (I have a feeling Pepsi’s gonna cave and pull the app). Yes, it’s crude and immature and (sigh) sexist, but what if Pepsi’s Amp Up energy drink comes up with an equally crude and sexist app aimed at women looking to bag some boytoys? There are plenty of less-than-flattering male stereotypes to rag on. Hmm let’s see… there’s the ever-popular Douchebag, the 40 Year Old Virgin, Mr. Sensitive, Annoying Frat Boy (Douchebag’s twin brother, actually), Heavy Metal Poser, Unemployed Loser… you could write an entire book on distasteful male stereotypes and, on behalf of all men on this planet, I am officially giving Pepsi permission to produce an equally sexist app about us! Go ahead, do it up. Fair’s fair, and funny’s funny, so let’s all just chill and LOL a little. :D

iTunes Link – AMP UP Before Your Score
Version 1.0
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS3.1

So I get the SBB (simple brown box) inside and by the way AT&T using an SBB is a good thing as Fedex and UPS both have a tendency to leave very valuable stuff just laying at people’s front doors in plain view.  Anyway I sliced open the box and the first thing that came to mind is damn, this Apple box is small, is this really my new phone?  I neatly sliced around the shrinkwrap, toying with the idea of keeping it on there for posterity but soon after tore it off when I realized how hard it would be to take a decent picture of the box with it on there.  Inside the box right on top is the 3G S itself; no digging through leaflets or adapters to get to the prize, Apple lays it right on top baby.  Wrapped in a customary light adhesive plastic sheath it is a thing of beauty to behold but after a moment of ogling it was off with the sheath and immediately on with my spiffy new Griffin Nuform case.  I had the Griffin Clarifi on my 3G and really grew attached to it so the Nuform is basically the exact same case but without the macro lens (which is no longer needed on the 3G S…can I get a WHAT WHAT).  I had already decided I wasn’t going to put a screen protector on right away to give this whole ‘oleophobic’ screen coating a whirl so I was all set.  That done I plugged it in for a bit’o'charging and took a look at the rest of the box contents to see if any surprises awaited.  Negative; it’s the same packin’s as the 3G: basic product info and ‘finger tip’ leaflets, silly white Apple stickers, earbuds, AC adapter and USB docking cable.  Time to head back to the PC and get this sucker activated.

Lessee here, if this is an upgrade says to call some 866 number to complete the activation.  Very well, called the number and after no more than 2-3 mins of following voice prompts I had my new SIM activated.  Since I’d already done a backup of my 3G in preparation, I connected the 3G S and brought up iTunes.  When it detected a new phone I chose the option to restore from backup.  Since I had about 5 GB full on my old phone, this whole process took about 40 min but it was painless and trouble-free and when done, my new Springboard was exactly like it was before, sweet!  Wait though, what’s this???  None of my save games what the, who….noOOOOOOOoooooOOOOO!  Yes, unfortunately anywhere from most to freaking all of your app/game save data does not make the trip over so that game you been workin’ on for the last 5 months and were just about to finish?  Too bad, so sad.  Had i.TV setup just perfectly?  Not anymore you don’t.  Apparently the only app/game data that survives the upgrade is that which is stored externally such as MMO’s that you physically log into; anything stored locally (probably oh, 99% of what’s on your phone) is a wet sock.  From what I’m reading out on the nets I’m not alone in this experience but it seems others have had their local save data restored so if someone knows the real scoop with that let everyone know in the comments section (it’s already too late for me so just say a little prayer for me tonight).

So in the few hours I’ve had the 3G S I can sum it up thusly…worth every freaking dime.  This just feels like the iPhone is supposed to feel.  Everything is peppy and snappy, no more virtual keyboard lag, apps load wickedly fast, games play faster, Safari doesn’t make you want to throw your phone against the wall (as much) and the video recording is (and I must quote Peter Griffin) freakin’ sweet!  There’s a whole lot more to the 3G S obviously but this article only focused on my personal OBE and it was memorable in that ear-to-ear grin kinda way.

EDIT!  Feeling glum about all my local data in the bit bucket and having nothing to lose, I tried to restore a 2nd time from the same backup.  Whaddyaknow, it worked as all my local data is now back!  If I had to make a guess it would appear that the first restore tried to put all my settings and such onto an empty phone and on the next sync afterward iTunes just transferred all my apps to the 3G S as if I had just bought and was installing them for the first time.  On the 2nd restore, now that my new phone contained all the already-installed apps, the settings restored properly.  Whatever the case, I’m stoked and quite relieved.  Side note, this also makes the case to be sure you always transfer apps purchased OTA on the iPhone back up to iTunes for safekeeping.

It should only take a minute or two for a text message to be returned

If you’re not sure whether or not you qualify for a discounted iPhone upgrade ($199 for 16gb, $299 for 32gb), just dial *639# and you’ll get a text message back from AT&T with the date you’ll be eligible! (Sorry non-U.S. people, you’ll have to contact your carrier to see if they offer a similar option)

I had no idea this could be done until talking to a friend who works for AT&T and it confirmed what I’d already been told by a customer service rep. And in case you hadn’t heard, AT&T recently changed the upgrade policy so that you “may” qualify if your average monthly bill is at least $99/month.

I, unfortunately, have to wait until December because I have no friends and hardly use any minutes, but if you have a life and actually use your iPhone to talk to people then your chances should be much better. :)

So I was just over at TechCrunch reading about today’s iPhone 3G S announcement and I also soaked in everything I could from Apple’s site update. Here’s what you wanna know:

• U.S. release date: June 19
• Non-U.S. release date ~July 7
• Apps will run twice as fast
• 3 MP camera with autofocus!
• Video shooting & editing, currently only available on jailbreak apps
• Upload videos directly to YouTube or MobileMe
• Voice control similar to the “SYNC” system you see advertised in Ford car commercials, ie: “call the VD clinic” or “play a song by Wham!”
• Multimedia messaging (OS 3.0)
• Cut/copy/paste (OS 3.0)
• Built-in compass with map integration
• Improved battery life giving 9 hours of web surfing on WiFi vs. the current 6 hours
• 16 GB iPhone = $199
• 32 GB iPhone = $299

The article doesn’t say anything about contract requirements, but you can bet your broke ass that a two year contract is part of the deal. But hey, if you’re super poor like me you can now get the current iPhone 3G for $99! Yeah, you’re gonna run into another contract there as well. $99 is for the 8 GB model, and 16 GB will cost $149, or so I was just told less than a minute ago on the phone by some dude at a local AT&T store.

I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but the things I’m most excited about are the camera improvements and the processor speed. It’s no secret that I’m constantly taking stupid pics of my dog and if I can summon up enough cash to upgrade my iPhone I’ll soon be littering YouTube with equally stupid videos. I think, for a lot of people, putting videos on YouTube is a chore because there’s usually a hardware connection required somewhere along the way… either move the video from camera to computer, or at the very least connect the video device to something with an internet connection. I’m sure this direct-to-YouTube thing will have a few snags in it, but at least in theory it should open up a whole new world of mobile video for the previously uninitiated masses.

The processor speed is also a huge deal because it could mean an entirely new generation of games that just don’t work on the current iPhone. Take, for example, Dark Hill which Swain just reviewed. Could true first-person-shooters finally become viable on the iPhone 3G S? I guess we’ll find out soon! nabil chatbi must be frothing at the mouth.

Here’s the TechCrunch article. Below is Apple’s 15-minute guided tour plus some images and screen grabs.