iPhone App Reviews

Q&F: Thanksgiving Jokes

Michael (Admin) | Nov 24, 2009 Entertainment, Quick & Free

User rating: (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)

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Thanksgiving Jokes is just one of the many flashcard sets in Dustin Kirk’s Stacks Pro.

Stacks Pro costs money, but this set of unbelievably corny jokes is free and could come in handy if your Thanksgiving dinner conversation takes a turn for the worse or if you just need to keep some young ‘uns entertained.

The Stacks interface is really nice… swipe up or down to see the other side of the card, and swipe left or right to view a different card. If you’re gonna be looking at flashcards on your iPhone, this is the way to do it!

50 very kid-friendly jokes, all of which will just make you roll your eyes, are included.

iTunes Link – Thanksgiving Jokes
Version 2.0
Reviewed on iPhone 3GS OS3.1.2

Answer: Because they use such FOWL language! (cue horn: waaaa waa)

Tags: free, funny, Thanksgiving

Q&F: Family Guy: Uncensored Free

Michael (Admin) | Nov 20, 2009 Games, Quick & Free

User rating: (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)

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I don’t review a lot of “lite” versions of apps, but I freakin’ love Family Guy so I had to try this one out!

Family Guy: Uncensored Free opens up with a little intro from Brian and Stewie where they call you a jerk for being too cheap to buy the full version and then encourage you to “enjoy the crappy free game”. Ha, ok, kind of funny… I like it. If you don’t watch Family Guy, it’s probably one of the crudest, most politically incorrect shows ever made so the insults are both welcome and expected.

Unfortunately, the talking dog and the evil baby are right… this lite version is crappy. SlideToPlay’s YouTube demo of the full version looks like it could actually be fun, but this lite version is totally underwhelming. It’s well-produced and the sound and graphics are pro (nice job, Glu), but the stages represented here really could be any old platform game if you replaced the characters with monsters or robots or Capcom’s Mega Man.

Thanks for the warning!

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Tags: free, lite version, platformer

Q&F: Touch Pet Dogs

Michael (Admin) | Nov 18, 2009 Games, Quick & Free

User rating: (5 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)

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I have a dog, so I felt somehow morally obligated to check out Touch Pet Dogs. For starters, ouch on the Touch+ Network signup! Kind of a pain in the ass unless you’re already signed up through some other app.

Once the “game” gets going it’s not too bad, for a while anyway… you select a puppy, play with it in the 3D house environment, and the app will gradually start introducing you to different facets of taking care of your new virtual pet like using toys, bathing, going outside, and feeding. It’s all nicely rendered and the dog’s mannerisms are very cute and if you like virtual pets then you’ll probably think, “hey, this is really cool!”

BUT… based on user reviews in the App Store, feeding is apparently a big bummer because that’s the game’s money making angle… you have to buy food to feed your pet. 10 bowls costs $.99, and you can get quantity discounts if you buy 120 or 400 bowls at a time. You start out with a few bowls of food to begin with but when it runs out you’ll have to cough up some cash and, since it’s food, I guess you’ll have to keep buying for as long as you want to play with your iPhone dog.

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Tags: 3D, free, in-app purchase

Q&F: Amp Up Before Your Score

Michael (Admin) | Oct 15, 2009 Entertainment, News & Editorials, Quick & Free

User rating: (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

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This is the app that, over the past week, has been written about over and over and over again… and now Pepsi is apologizing for it.

Apologizing is definitely the right move from a PR standpoint, but I’m just gonna come out and say what everyone else is apparently afraid to… AMP UP BEFORE YOUR SCORE IS FUNNY! Sorry ladies, I know it probably pisses off some of you, but for the rest who can see this app for the joke that it’s clearly intended to be, it’s pretty hilarious.

AMP UP Before Your Score is a very tongue-in-cheek guide to “scoring” with 24 different types of women who range from Aspiring Actress to Indie Girl to Trouble and everything in between. For each type there are numerous ways of engaging the lady that include pickup lines and various conversation starters that are customized for each personality. If you’re talking to Goth Girl, Before Your Score provides a list of vampires and goth bands. If you’re talking to Political Girl, the app launches an in-app browser and loads Obama’s Twitter account and some recent political news items. Pepsi went the distance here and actually put some thought into each content item and the result, although unfortunate for feminism, is an app that’s packed with some hysterically crude humor.

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Tags: controversial, free, funny, mature

Q&F: Roadkill Cafe

Michael (Admin) | Oct 12, 2009 Games, Quick & Free

User rating: (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Roadkill Cafe is on sale for *free*! Normal price is $.99 – $1.99

I confess that I’ve only spent about 15 minutes playing this game, but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say drop what you’re doing and get Roadkill Cafe right now while it’s still free!

It’s funny, it’s gross, it’s well produced, and on top of all that it’s four games in one. The main game has you driving around an odd looking roadkill-scooping-vehicle, and you need to pick up all the dead animals that are constantly getting smushed in traffic so you can deliver them to the cafe where hungry customers are waiting!

In Survivor mode you simply have to dodge traffic for as long as possible, Vengeance is very similar but instead you’re dodging chickens, and in Rampage you’re driving along a Spy Hunter-ish highway where you have to mow down as much roadkill as you can while also avoiding collisions with other cars.

Roadkill Cafe respects the iPod, has global high score boards, and comes with three different control schemes (choosing one is a game in itself) and even if you miss out on this sale I’d say go for it if you’re in the mood for something new! I don’t think there are hours and hours of gameplay here, but it’s still a very good game for just a buck or two.

iTunes Link – Roadkill Cafe
Version 1.2
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS3.1

Tags: $1.99, arcade, free, funny

Q&F: Hilarious Bumper Stickers

Michael (Admin) | Oct 5, 2009 Entertainment, Quick & Free

User rating: (No Ratings Yet)

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I like hilarious bumper stickers as much as the next idiot, but Trippert Labs really needs to populate this app with more than the 50 or so bumper stickers it’s currently sporting. Some of the bumper stickers are indeed funny, most only qualify as mildly amusing at best, and in the “Newest” section it appears that the upload-your-own-pic function is attracting mildly amusing pics of things that aren’t bumper stickers at all!

The execution on this app is pretty good, but I’d like it a lot more if you could just page through individual photos like you can with I Can Has Cheezburger. Right now you can flip through pages of photos, but to view individual pics you have to tap to view and then tap again to go back to the gallery (edit: you can also enlarge the page view so it only shows one pic at a time). The app is free so I guess there’s no harm in trying it out, but lower your expectations… chances are you’ll be ready to delete this app within 10 minutes cuz that’s about how long it’ll take for you to look at *all* the bumper stickers this app has to offer! Yeah, I know this app wants to be a user-generated collection that grows on its own, but it’s just not there yet and the small content base isn’t helping.

iTunes Link – Hilarious Bumper Stickers
Version 1.00
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS3.1

Tags: free, funny

Q&F: Most Wanted

Michael (Admin) | Sep 25, 2009 Quick & Free, Utilities

User rating: (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)

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My fellow Americans, if you see Osama Bin Laden please do your patriotic duty and whip out your iPhone so you can report his whereabouts to the FBI immediately!

Sounds funny, but that’s basically what this app is for. Most Wanted is is the FBI’s “official” iPhone app for citizen vigilance and, even though there’s room for improvement, it’s really not too shabby for something created by government suits. It displays a photo and short summary for each entry under Top Ten Most Wanted, Terrorists, and Missing Kids, and for each item you can submit a tip via several methods including email, and there’s also a link to the FBI’s “official page” for that person on the FBI.gov website.

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Tags: crime, free

Q&F: Crime Spot

Michael (Admin) | Sep 25, 2009 Quick & Free, Utilities

User rating: (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

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It’s crime day! Today is all about crime-related apps because it’s about damn time we rise up with our iPhones and take back our streets in a flurry of righteous social media! That, and because a CNN.com reporter wants to interview me about them. :razz:

Crime Spot is essentially a mobile version of your local Neighborhood Watch. It shows you a map of all of the nefarious happenings in your ‘hood as reported by other Crime Spot users over the past 24 hours and the past month, and it also gives you the opportunity to submit reports of your own.

I like what Crime Spot is trying to do, but unfortunately it’s really not all that great at doing it. For starters, you can only look at crime in your location. Nice, but what if I’m thinking about buying a house in East LA? You’re outta luck there unless you feel like manually pinching and swiping your way across the map. It also needs to implement some kind of credibility system because if I get bored enough I could litter my street with imaginary hookers and drug dealers just for fun! And maybe I already have…?

I think Excelltech and all the other developers who are trying to make a business out of iPhone crime apps are onto something, but Crime Spot just ain’t it. It’s free which is a good start, but right now this app is still too raw to be of much use.

iTunes Link – Crime Spot
Version 1.00
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS3.1

Tags: crime, free

Q&F: Album Shuffle

Michael (Admin) | Sep 24, 2009 Music, Quick & Free

User rating: (No Ratings Yet)

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You know that thing your iPhone does when you’re running the iPod and you turn it sideways and it changes from a list of songs to a nice row of album art that you can flick your way through? That’s called Coverflow! Just in case you didn’t know.

Coverflow is cool, especially if you’ve taken the time to download album art in iTunes, but it’s just so… organized. The anal retentive among us surely appreciate this, but what about slobs like me? Enter Album Shuffle, a free alternative for viewing your iPod albums in a mixed up convoluted mess instead of Apple’s cool-but-rigid method.

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Tags: free, Music

Q&F: MyAppIdea

Michael (Admin) | Sep 10, 2009 Business, Quick & Free

User rating: (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Everyone and their mother has an idea for an iPhone app… trust me, I get plenty of emails from people asking how to find a developer to make their nutty ideas a reality! I may someday try to build something around those requests but if you need some creative validation right now you can give MyAppIdea a shot.

You see the irony here, right? It’s an app whose purpose is to farm new ideas for apps! Har har. All you have to do is submit your idea and wait for the public to weigh in on whether your brainchild is a flash of brilliance or a flash of utter stupidity. If Regenus picks your idea and builds it, you would get a part of the revenue. Not sure how exactly that would work, but that’s the claim being made here.

MyAppIdea is fun to browse through… some of the ideas people post can be pretty hilarious and not in a good way… but its fatal flaw is in the concept the app is built on. I mean, if you have a truly novel idea for an iPhone app, are you really going to put it out there for someone to poach? Regenus may be legit and sincere about working with you, but you’ll never know how many other iPhone developers are quietly scanning this app for their next big hit.

iTunes Link – MyAppIdea
Version 2.0
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS3.0.1

Tags: free

Q&F: Space Shooter

Michael (Admin) | Sep 8, 2009 Games, Quick & Free

User rating: (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

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Invasion of the Upside Down Batteries!

Off to a slow start here after a long weekend so, while I’m finishing up a couple of other reviews, go and amuse yourself with Space Shooter!

If there was a contest for the simplest arcade shmup on the planet, this game by Dokimi would win hands down. Drag left and right across the bottom of the screen to move your “spaceship”, and tap aroud elsewhere to shoot the evil geometric shapes that mean to do you harm.

I had the entire thing beat  on my first try (yes, levels are limited) and it took all of 10 minutes! But whoop-dee-doo, who gives a bibble, gabba gabba hey! It’s free, give it a try. Oh, and extra credit to whoever can identify the quote I just threw down.

Space Shooter
Version 1.0
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS3.0.1

Tags: arcade, free, shmup, simple

Q&F: Outlast Football

Michael (Admin) | Aug 31, 2009 Quick & Free, Sports

User rating: (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Call me a commie but I don’t give a crap about baseball… (American) football is the only sport that matters! And now that football season is finally here I’m on the lookout for apps that will make the games even more fun to watch.

Outlast Football is your basic survival pool where each week you pick ONE team that you’re absolutely sure will win, and if you’re right then you live to see another Sunday (or Monday or occasionally Thursday). If you choose the wrong side of an upset, though, you’re done for the season. The only catch is that you can only pick a team once during the whole season, so after Chicago crushes Green Bay at Lambeau in Week 1 you’ll have to move on to other possible winners in subsequent weeks.

You can make your survival pool public or private and you can also join other public pools if making one pick a week isn’t enough for you. There’s also the option to add a point spread if you’re fully convinced that your team will win by (x) points, and you’ll either get rewarded or penalized in “LastCreds” depending on the outcome.

I don’t fully understand the point of LastCreds, aka Outlast points, but I’m guessing it’s just a way of ranking players and their knowledge (or luck) in predicting winners. As for how this app performs in the heat of battle I don’t really know yet since the NFL season hasn’t started, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough!

Outlast Football is free, so if  you’re a football fan you need to download it and join my public pool! Just go to “Buddies”, click Search in the top left corner, look for “iphone” and you’ll find iPhoneAppReviews.net. Be sure to join the league called “(for real this time)”.

iTunes Link – Outlast Football
Version 1.0
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS3.0.1

Tags: american football, free, NFL