iPhone App Reviews

Q&F: Braineo

Sara | Jan 1, 2010 Games

User rating: (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Recently, I downloaded the free app Braineo by Veriunique Productions, Inc. It is a fun memory game. The object seemed simple enough: study the picture, answer the questions, and get points. However, I soon learned it was harder than I thought. The questions were rather specific such as, “What color was the largest light bulb?” I aced the first couple of rounds, but my score started to go down the drain when I reached the more complex pictures. Every time I got a question wrong, a panda head would pop up and taunt me with phrases such as, “Your IQ is a negative integer.” After completing 18 questions, the panda prompts you to pay $.99 to have access to the other 11 levels. Although I would have liked the game to have a few more free levels, the game was fun and satisfactory.

iTunes Link – Braineo
Version 1.0
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS 3.1.2

Tags: casual, free, fun, Games, lite version

Q&F: Family Guy: Uncensored Free

Michael (Admin) | Nov 20, 2009 Games, Quick & Free

User rating: (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)

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I don’t review a lot of “lite” versions of apps, but I freakin’ love Family Guy so I had to try this one out!

Family Guy: Uncensored Free opens up with a little intro from Brian and Stewie where they call you a jerk for being too cheap to buy the full version and then encourage you to “enjoy the crappy free game”. Ha, ok, kind of funny… I like it. If you don’t watch Family Guy, it’s probably one of the crudest, most politically incorrect shows ever made so the insults are both welcome and expected.

Unfortunately, the talking dog and the evil baby are right… this lite version is crappy. SlideToPlay’s YouTube demo of the full version looks like it could actually be fun, but this lite version is totally underwhelming. It’s well-produced and the sound and graphics are pro (nice job, Glu), but the stages represented here really could be any old platform game if you replaced the characters with monsters or robots or Capcom’s Mega Man.

Thanks for the warning!

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: free, lite version, platformer

Q&F: Santa Lite

Michael (Admin) | Dec 9, 2008 Games, Quick & Free

User rating: (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)

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Worst. Christmas game. EVER!!!!

Tags: Christmas, free, lite version

Sapus Tongue

Michael (Admin) | Dec 4, 2008 Games

User rating: (No Ratings Yet)

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Sapus Tongue is a great example of how production values, accelerometer movement, and hilarious sound effects can make an otherwise idiotic game a lot of fun to play.

Your sole mission is to fling Sapus the frog or Monus the monkey as far as humanly possible. I dunno what these poor animals did to deserve such abuse, but they’re happily hanging from a tree and you need to rotate your iPhone in a swiveling hula-hoop motion to build up speed and then tap the screen to hurl them across the countryside. Speed and angle of release are key, and getting a good combo of both takes some practice. Points are based on distance, so the farther you fling the higher your score.

I’m convinced that if anyone other than Sapus Media had built this game it would be one of the dumbest apps in existence, but Sapus Tongue’s quirky soundtrack sets an amusing tone as soon as you see the menu screen and the rest just kind of falls into place. Everything from the way Sapus and Monus scream as they’re flying through the air to way they’re yanked back to the tree for another round of torture is just plain funny, and it all lends to this game’s oddly addicting quality.

Sapus Tongue has a couple of bugs in it, one of which sends your flying pet off-screen for an eternal tumble (see my 100,000+ points in the screenshot below) but the in-game restart button makes it very easy to recover from this glitch. Local and global high score boards are included and there’s even an in-game instructional video in case you need some training.

Hopefully Sapus Tongue’s bugginess will be fixed soon, but even now it’s still very playable and a lot of fun. There’s also a lite ad-supported version available if you’re not ready to part with that dollar yet.

Tags: $.99, funny, lite version

Q&F: Xmas Link Up

Michael (Admin) | Dec 4, 2008 Games, Quick & Free

User rating: (4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)

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Don’t be fooled by Xmas Link Up’s bizarre app store icon! Why they’re using an emo version of McDonald’s Grimace to represent this app is beyond me, but it’s actually a pretty fun Christmas-themed game.

If you’ve ever played Fuzzle you already know what to do: line up at least four matching tiles to clear them from the board. MeYuMe threw in a couple of surprises such as telling you where tiles will be appearing next (in gray) and there are certain tiles that become locked in place after a period of time.

Xmas Link Up is the lite Christmas version of MyM Link Up which sells for $2.99. This is just a trial version with six levels but it’s fun and challenging enough to warrant a download, and it might even convince you to invest in the full non-themed Link Up.

Here, have some Christmas frustration

Tags: Christmas, free, lite version

3D Fireworks

Michael (Admin) | Nov 19, 2008 Entertainment

User rating: (4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)

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3D Fireworks is a pretty cool visual show that’s probably best suited for desk jockeys and frequent fliers on Air Bud. The bored office slave with a recharging cradle could let it run all day like a screensaver, and the bored stoner could just stare at it nonstop until the pizza guy finally shows up.

This app has one character flaw that I’ll harp on in a bit, but it does come with some nice viewing options. You get to control the color of the sky to simulate three different times of night while random fireworks get launched upwards, there’s a pause button in case you just can’t bear to miss a single explosion, and you can also move around the sky while the bombs are bursting in air.

The best feature, of course, is the ability to produce your own fireworks displays by tapping around the screen… and this is where The Flaw starts to become apparent. As far as I can tell, tapping is the only way to ensure that you get a great show. When the fireworks are just launching on their own they don’t come anywhere close to filling the screen and almost always seem to be off-center. It’s possible to position yourself for a “good view” and then lock the camera in place, but that view never lasts long. It’s like the self-launching rockets are absolutely determined to put on a half-assed show.

In most ways I think KDR Software did a nice job on 3D Fireworks. The sound is limited which I like, the graphics are great, and the ability to play while the iPod is running is key.

It lacks an oooohh-aaaaahh sound option which I think would be hilarious to add in, but first on my wishlist would be adjusting the auto-play to produce spectacular, screen-filling shows… or at least incorporate some options to control the size and frequency of the auto-rockets. 3D Fireworks is already a pretty good app for tapping out a show, but a smarter autoplay engine would make it great.

A “lite” version that provides a limited fireworks show is also available.

Tags: $.99, good for kids, lite version, strictly visual

Marriage Calculator

Michael (Admin) | Nov 18, 2008 Lifestyle

User rating: (7 votes, average: 3.57 out of 5)

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When BarnacleJive Software asked me to review Marriage Calculator my first instinct was to respond with the letters L-O-L, but then I figured it would be a good excuse to call my recently-married friend in New York and grill him about marital details that are none of my damn business. I called him alright, but calculating his marriage didn’t even come close to yielding anything juicy and, quite frankly, it was pretty boring.

Marriage Calculator is supposed to compare your circumstances versus statistical data from the U.S. census, the Center for Disease Control (CDC), and studies conducted by universities. It does that… I think… but even after the recent v1.1 update it feels like a pretty shallow evaluation on the scientific scale and a huge snoozefest on the entertainment scale.

These are the factors taken into consideration by Marriage Calculator:

• State where the marriage takes place (probably assuming you live there, too)
• Age of each spouse
• Living arrangement: apart, shacking up, or married
• How long you’ve known each other
• Loose estimate of your communication skills on a scale of 1-5
• Education level
• Children from previous marriages
• “Have own children before marriage” (referring to out-of-wedlock bastards, I guess?)
• Economic class
• Marital history: never before, married once, widowed, or multiple
• Religious beliefs
• Race

Um, this is all great, but I have a big suggestion for BarnacleJive:

MAKE THIS TEST FUN!!!!

Right now it’s about as exciting as filling out a DMV form, and I think most would agree that the iPhone will never be a credible source for a truly meaningful evaluation of a relationship… at least not for people possessing half a brain or more. Marriage Calculator currently provides results based on a 12-point evaluation, but even if it becomes a 100-point evaluation it’s still coming from your damn phone!

I kind of like the idea here, but I think the execution is far too serious and it’s also very limited considering the $1.99 price tag. I can see that Marriage Calculator wants to rise above all those juvenile “love calculators” and provide real info, but I’m not convinced that a market exists for “real” relationship info that’s as sterile as an operating room and generated by a mobile device.

If redeveloping this product were up to me, I’d be looking to strike a balance between fun questions and real data, and I’d also give serious thought to including several “evaluations” in one app to justify the price. After rephrasing the marriage evaluation, I’d throw in a Will-You-Get-An-STD evaluation that uses FUN questions about sexual habits to generate a somewhat realistic assessment based on CDC data. Then I’d write a How-Soon-Will-You-Croak quiz, a Should-You-Be-on-Welfare quiz, and a How-Big-of-a-Slut-Are-You quiz, among others… all phrased in funny ways and based on real data so that I could laugh at my friends with authority at how much they suck. Then I’d pay $1.99! Maybe even more?

For what it’s worth, Marriage Calculator does offer a “lite” version that only asks for state, age, living arrangement, race, and class… not sure how much you can (or want to) glean from that, but it’s free to try.

Tags: $1.99, lite version

iDream

Michael (Admin) | Nov 17, 2008 Healthcare & Fitness

User rating: (21 votes, average: 3.05 out of 5)

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iDream is the third… and hopefully the last… “sound machine” to get reviewed here. The other two are aSleep and Ambiance.

The best thing I can say about iDream is that it isn’t terrible! That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement, but the reality is that it does basically the same thing as aSleep and Ambiance but slightly differently and with a much more limited sound catalog.

iDream comes equipped with ten sound loops, a timer, “visualizations”, and English, Spanish, German, and Russian translations. The sound loops are all good and seem to be longer and more layered than what you’d find in those other apps, and the timer goes up to 90 minutes which should be enough for most people… but the visualizations are laaaaaaame! Sorry Wirntec, I gotta call it like I see it.

I was imagining the visualizations would be something like what you’d find in iTunes or Windows Media Player, but it’s really just a screen that changes colors. iDream’s App Store description talks about “optical stimulation” and “phototherapy” but, call me crazy, this extra feature does nothing for me. It’s nice that you can adjust the color depth and speed, but I still don’t have much use for this feature unless I somehow find myself needing sound effects and a trippy flashlight at the same time.

The only way I see iDream competing with aSleep and Ambiance is if it (a) carves out a niche of awesome sound loops that you can’t get elsewhere, or (b) extends the list of sound loops to at least 30 or so. Or both? The sounds that are currently included really are pretty good… in any given sound there are probably five or six tracks playing at once, maybe more.

Visualizations are something else that could be a reason to buy, especially if they could go beyond a changing color screen. I may think they suck, but others might really get into that.

Again, iDream isn’t bad, it’s just limited when compared to the competition. When I’m using one of these “sound machine” apps to fall asleep I usually stick to the same three or four sound loops that I like, and I suspect a lot of people are the same way. It could totally be worth $.99 if you like outdoorsy-sounding nature noises which would describe most of the sounds included. If you’re not sure about whether to buy, iDream does have a “lite” version available which includes three sounds.

Here’s the full sound list in the current version:

• Campfire (available in iDream Lite)
• Country Meadow  (available in iDream Lite)
• Gentle Ocean  (available in iDream Lite)
• Log Cabin
• Mountain Stream
• Ocean Night
• Rockie Mountains (contains burping and farting noises)
• Severe Thunderstorm
• Spiritual Sounds
• Wolf Creek

Ok, the burping and farting in Rockie Mountains is probably from some exotic bird or frog. I just prefer the idea of falling asleep to a chorus of bodily functions.

Tags: $.99, lite version

Q&F: BiiBall 3D Lite

Michael (Admin) | Nov 13, 2008 Games, Quick & Free

User rating: (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

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BiiBall 3D Lite is the free version of a pretty kickass 3D game. The object is to navigate your BiiBall through an obstacle course without touching the walls or hitting any obstacles. Movement is controlled entirely by tilting your iPhone this way and that, and you can also tap the screen to shoot obstacles out of the way.

This game is pretty hard, and if you’re as uncoordinated as I am it’s nearly impossible! But the graphics are great, the glowing stars make nice piano sounds when your BiiBall rolls through them, and overall you can tell that bootant.com poured a lot of sweat into developing a quality game.

If you can’t get enough of BiiBall Lite, the full version is currently on sale for $.99.

BiiBall 3D is best played when sober

Tags: 3D, free, lite version

Dashbuster Free – Netflix Blockbuster Manager

Michael (Admin) | Nov 5, 2008 Entertainment

User rating: (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

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Dashbuster Free is the “lite” version of Seventy Nine Lines’ online rental queue manager. It works with both Netflix and Blockbuster Online, and since I only use Blockbuster that’s the only part of this app I’ll be able to talk about here.

Dashbuster Free is great if all you need to do is change the order of movies you’ve got lined up or delete crappy movies you’re no longer interested in seeing. I played around with it while comparing the results to my Blockbuster queue on my laptop, and the changes were immediate.

But remember… this is the free version of the app, so if you want to add movies or do anything else you’ll have to buy Dashbuster Premium when it gets put back in the app store. Apparently Seventy Nine Lines took it down voluntarily to retool it for Blockbuster Online’s ever-changing website.

You can also look up movies with search or browse them through the RSS feature, but if you can’t add them to your queue it’s all pretty pointless. No movie trailers either! I can understand them holding this feature back from the lite app, but it would be reasonable to expect trailers in the premium version (which I haven’t tried yet).

Still, I really could have used this app when I was plowing through Battlestar Galactica DVDs a month ago. All I wanted to do was delete a DVD from my queue and I was sitting in my car trying to navigate Blockbuster’s site in Safari. Dashbuster Free would have made doing that super easy.

There are a bunch of notes on Dashbuster’s App Store page that describe current issues, mostly concerning Netflix. Anytime you’re dealing with an app that’s sucking info from a third party website, some bugginess seems to be par for the course as the developer tries to keep up with code changes. I didn’t experience any problems in my quick trial run, but if you do then you should probably take a look at the known issues or contact the developer directly.

Dashbuster Free, as near as I can tell on the Blockbuster side, does exactly what it’s supposed to do. It’s a pretty good sales pitch for the premium version of the app and is worth trying out if you do the DVDs-by-mail thing.

Tags: free, lite version

Hiqup

Michael (Admin) | Oct 14, 2008 Games

User rating: (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Most people have played games similar to PegJump either on the iPhone or on an actual piece of wood with golf tees stuck all over it… the idea is to clear a board (except for the last peg) by jumping other pegs out of existence.

Moopf took this simple concept and wrote an entirely new rulebook for it, and thus Hiqup was born.

The first thing I noticed about Hiqup is that it has a tutorial! My first thought was oh crap… this is gonna hurt… but it’s really not that bad. The tutorial is really well done and it walks you through all of the twists and turns that Hiqup introduces into the peg-jumping game genre. It explains how to use blackholes, teleports, special spaces, bombs… things you’ve probably never seen in a game like this. They’re all simple enough to use and make for some pretty engaging puzzles that become increasingly difficult the more you play.

The other major change that Hiqup throws into the game is three different types of pieces. Blue pieces move like a Rook in chess, in straight lines that go horizontally or vertically. Green pieces are like a Bishop, moving only diagonally. Red pieces are like a Queen, and can go in any direction. Hiqup is nothing like chess, I’m just throwing out those comparisons because that’s how my poor brain is wired.

If you’re too lazy to think through all the strategies and possible moves that come with blackholes, bombs, and colored pieces, “classic” games are also included. These are far more simple and are straight-up jump-the-peg puzzles.

Hiqup is shiny and very fancy, and you can tell right away that Gareth Lancaster, aka Moopf, put a ton of thought and effort into building this crazy little puzzle game. This is definitely a high-quality app, and if you like puzzles this one will keep you occupied for a very, very long time.

$1.99 gets you the full version that comes with 47 Hiqup boards plus the classic boards, and there’s also a lite version that lets you try out the levels and boards for free. For diehard puzzle fiends, $1.99 isn’t much to pony up for a game of this caliber. If you’re lukewarm on the puzzle thing or just a cheap bastard, try the lite version and see how long it takes for Hiqup to either mesmerize you or make you feel like a complete moron.

Tags: $1.99, classic, lite version, puzzle

iDoodle2 lite

Michael (Admin) | Aug 12, 2008 Entertainment

User rating: (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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I’ve played very briefly with a couple of other iPhone drawing apps and my best work could have been described as kindergarten finger paintings from hell. Granted, I’m not what you would call an “artist,” but I’ve worked professionally as a web designer and I think I’m fairly qualified in the area of graphics software. I haven’t given those other drawing apps a full review, so in the interest of fairness I’m not gonna name names. Suffice it to say that they suck. iDoodle2, on the other hand, is surprisingly sophisticated and… brace yourself… it features actual drawing tools! OMG.

Josiah Larson gives iDoodle2 lite users the ability to draw freeform lines, straight lines, ovals/circles, squares/rectangles, and “blobs”. The blob tool is pretty nice – it cleans up your finger motions as you draw more complex shapes, and the result is usually superior to what you would have drawn freehand with the pen tool. If this sounds complicated, the best thing for you to do is to give it a try and see what I mean.

You also get to edit the background color which is awesome. Have you ever tried to fill in a background color by scribbling furiously from corner to corner with your finger? Yeah, unfortunately so have I. You don’t need to do that here. Line and fill colors can also be set separately, plus you can even set transparency and line thickness. Another interesting thing that iDoodle2 lite lets you do is watch a replay of your drawing as you created it! I didn’t see an option to save the replay, but it was pretty cool to watch.

iDoodle2 lite does a lot of great things but its most unique feature has to be the way Undo/Redo is performed. Even with a full set of tools, drawing on such a small screen can be a major pain in the ass. With this app, you just tilt your iPhone 90 degrees to the left to undo your latest mistake, and tilt 90 degrees to the right to redo it. This is stated in the instructions in a not-so-clear way, but once you figure it out it becomes second nature. Sometimes you have to do it more than once (depending on how you’re holding the iPhone) but it’s still awesome to even be able to undo at all.

Being that this review is based on the free version of the app I can’t really complain about things that are missing, but a few features on my wishlist for the full version would be some transformations (such as scale and rotate), layer support, constrain shape (to draw a perfect circle or square), more colors, and the ability to export the replay of the drawing to a video file. I don’t see any of these items listed in iDoodle2′s description so I don’t really know if the full version includes them or not, but any iPhone app that does those things well would be pretty unbelievable.

For most people’s casual doodling, the lite version should be more than sufficient. If you’re looking for more features like the ability to add text and import photos to draw over, then you’ll need to get the full version of iDoodle2. It’ll cost you $2.99 but that seems like a very fair price for the best drawing app I’ve seen yet for iPhone.

Tags: drawing, free, good for kids, lite version