iPhone App Reviews

Don’t run with a plasma sword

Chris Sutton | Dec 2, 2011 Games

User rating: (No Ratings Yet)

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Don’t Run With a Plasma Sword ($0.99) by XperimentalZ Games

Available on iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad

Made in the form of a side-scrolling runner, Don’t run with a plasma sword is a delight to play and watch. Boss fights, a levelling up system, perks, easy-to-use controls and an interesting backdrop make this title an addictive app. In the same category as ‘Jetpack Joyride’ and ‘Monster Dash’, ‘Don’t run’ treats users to a story mode and endless mode, both of which are enjoyable ways to play the game.

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Tags: Games, platformer, space

Bring Me Sandwiches!!

Clint | Nov 2, 2011 Games

User rating: (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Bring Me Sandwiches!! ($.99) by Adult Swim and Grumpyface Studios
Available on iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad

Gourmo has a fever and the only prescription is more sandwiches!!!

Adult Swim’s latest iOS entry is the descriptively named platformer, Bring Me Sandwiches!! No, the game is not about your mom, but instead revolves around our unlikely hero, Jimmy Nugget. Jimmy is a socially challenged, zit-popping teenager who works at the local fast food restaurant. On one unassuming afternoon his town was suddenly invaded by aliens with a peculiar proclivity towards sandwiches. You see, although Gourmo is a disproportionately large alien (most likely caused by a completely natural genetically induced hormonal imbalance), he will only consume sandwiches. The good news is that he is not too picky about what type of sandwich it is, be it a bicycle/rat/Pine Tree sandwich or a pepper/cheese/beach ball sandwich.

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Tags: platformer

Q&F: Family Guy: Uncensored Free

Michael (Admin) | Nov 20, 2009 Games, Quick & Free

User rating: (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)

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I don’t review a lot of “lite” versions of apps, but I freakin’ love Family Guy so I had to try this one out!

Family Guy: Uncensored Free opens up with a little intro from Brian and Stewie where they call you a jerk for being too cheap to buy the full version and then encourage you to “enjoy the crappy free game”. Ha, ok, kind of funny… I like it. If you don’t watch Family Guy, it’s probably one of the crudest, most politically incorrect shows ever made so the insults are both welcome and expected.

Unfortunately, the talking dog and the evil baby are right… this lite version is crappy. SlideToPlay’s YouTube demo of the full version looks like it could actually be fun, but this lite version is totally underwhelming. It’s well-produced and the sound and graphics are pro (nice job, Glu), but the stages represented here really could be any old platform game if you replaced the characters with monsters or robots or Capcom’s Mega Man.

Thanks for the warning!

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Tags: free, lite version, platformer

Bionic Surfer

Swain Valasek | Jun 26, 2009 Games

User rating: (4 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

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The backstory is that for the last 6 months aliens from the parallel dimension known as ‘kaon space’ have been invading Earth and several other ‘offworld’ human colonies, apparently locking onto the free energy signatures of kaon crystals we’ve been using (for what purpose you don’t yet know).  You take the role of Bionic Surfer, who wakes up with a bad case of who/what/where and a mysterious figure known only as ‘The General’ inhabiting his subconscious and directing him to save humanity.

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Tags: $0.99, platformer, Swain Valasek

Flashback

Swain Valasek | Jun 2, 2009 Games

User rating: (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

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Flashback from Manomio LLC is a port of the much-beloved Amiga action platformer from 1992 by Delphine Software Int’l.  Delphine created some of the greatest Amiga games ever including Future Wars, Cruise for a Corpse and most especially Another World (Out of this World in the US) but let me not get off track.  The version of Flashback presented here is somewhat unique in that it’s not a port per se but a rebuild of the original executable using the REminiscence engine, compiled for the iPhone OS.  The catch is that all the original art assets are needed to make the game work.  Before you scream ‘copyright violation’ just relax; the developer contacted what what remains of Delphine and they expressed no desire to enforce ownership of the IP.  Therefore the assets can be legally distributed as ‘abandonware’.  Anyway the notable side effect of that is when you buy the game from the app store all you download is said executable; on first launch it goes out to one such abandonware site and downloads all the assets.  Be aware that this can take a long time so be on WiFi when you run it for the first time.  I didn’t get round to reviewing this game right away and because of that the 1.1 update was since released which is what I’m now reviewing.  That’s a very notable thing as 1.0 was fairly universally panned for it’s poor presentation, control layout and actual game-stopping bug on the game’s 2nd level.  The 1.1 update addresses all these things and more so kudos to the developer for taking the criticism constructively and trying to give the public the best product possible.

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Tags: $4.99, amiga, platformer, retro, Swain Valasek

Archibald’s Adventures

Swain Valasek | Jan 24, 2009 Games

User rating: (6 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

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Making its way to the stage now (watch that last step) is our next contestant, Archibald’s Adventures from indie developer Rake In Grass.  How about a 1 sentence review?  This game is freaking good.  If that’s not enough for ya, read on as I wax syntactic over this superb retro-licious 2D platformer.  First the backstory:  Our young protagonist Archie is dared by his pals to skate a radical ramp in a dump behind the creepy Dr Klumpfus’ mansion.  Oh ya, coincidentally the same dump where the mysterious DrK happens to have been effusing waste from his crazy experiments.  Archie ollies right into a secret underground entrance to Klumpfus’ cellar and in a fluke of coincidence one of the Doc’s gonzo genetic experiments goes awry at the same time, locking down the whole place and trapping them both.  Now it’s up to Archie, with help from the good Dr and his experiments and gadgets, to unravel the situation and free them both!  The game is divvied into 8 chapters consisting of 16 levels each.  By my crude math that’s 128 levels but the game lit advertises 114 so perhaps the first 14 are just so easy (and they are) they don’t count ‘em.  The levels are presented as bite-size logic puzzles in a 2D game world that you solve through a mix of interaction with the environment, arcade dexterity, trial and error and using yer noggin’.  At strategic points on each level are time warps that serve as save points and I found them all thoughtfully placed to keep the game flowing.  The game’s format happens to be perfect for the iPhone as you can play a few levels for a gaming fix and easily put it down feeling refreshed and not overwhelmed.  The graphics are crisply drawn with superb detail in a whimsical cartoon style that is reminiscent of something you might see on Adult Swim.  The sound fx are on the money and the music score is fab (more on that later).  There is no time limit or penalty for dying so you’re encouraged to explore the solution to each level for as long as your heart desires.  There is plenty of content here to keep you entertained so don’t worry about finishing it in one 1 evening.

Where AA really sets itself apart from the crowd of other platformers is in the playable vehicles/objects:

• Special intelligent remotely controlled plastic matter! (a purple bubble to us plebs, this is your most enduring ally throughout the game)
• Maintenance pod (like a giant hamster ball)
• Jet-powered armchair (piloted by DrK!)

Each of these elements introduce entirely new play mechanics which keep things dynamic and interesting as you progress.  This is a must by the way for that ‘dangling carrot’ quality that keeps you wanting to play ‘just 1 more level’ to see what new stuff is waiting around the corner.  For example the bubble can be guided just about anywhere on the level but it has momentum and bounce which makes it challenging to manipulate in tight spaces.  Then there’s the maintenance pod that can grapple to and scale metal surfaces and crush certain objects.  The game gets just hard enough to challenge without being so impossible you put it down in frustration and never finish (so don’t worry).

Neat features:

• You can play with the iPhone status bar present and keep track of time, your cell signal, battery charge,  etc.   This is a really thoughtful feature and I applaud its inclusion.
• Portrait or landscape orientation
• Russian and Czech localizations (I have no idea how to interpret these but I applaud the effort)

Problems encountered:

• The music (infrequently) drops out and the only way to get it back is to quit all the way back to the main menu and restart the level.  This wouldn’t be such a big deal if the music wasn’t so good.
• The D-pad control can be fairly temperamental.   I often experienced control ‘sticking’.  For example I would press the down arrow once, let go and Archie would start jumping repeatedly as if I was continually holding the up arrow.  The bubble was especially frustrating as I could recreate a situation where if I veered slightly out of the ‘hot zone’ of the D-pad, instead of just going idle the bubble would inexplicably go west (life is peaceful there) as if I was holding the left arrow.  In still other situations the D-pad would become completely unresponsive for a short time.  Even though these issues led to some frustrating moments, it’s not enough (not even close really) to tip the balance away from the overall excellence of everything else.

Suggestions:

• Allow us to play landscape mode in either orientation aka headphone jack at the bottom left or (preferred) top right.  The only game I can recall that lets you do this is Rick Rocketson (another most excellent plaformer) and it’s a great feature as some headphones can really get in the way.

The bouncy soundtrack by Vojta Nedvěd can be downloaded from the RIG website but every time I tried the file was corrupt.   I notified the game’s producer and he graciously provided an alternate download link if you’re interested (but having the same problem on the main site).  I cannot stop listening to track ‘aa3′; it’s completely stuck in my brain!

I wholeheartedly recommend this game at its initial asking price of 7.99.  However, over the last few days of putting this review together, the price is now reduced AND there’s a free demo available (a ‘lite’  version in Apple-speak).  Put this into perspective people!  We can’t get every app for 99 cents and expect the kind of sweat and polish that obviously went into the development of this game.  Personally I’m growing weary of dollar apps that you play with for an hour then delete, never to be seen or cared about again.  The PC version of this game is $15 so you’re getting every nibble and byte of the full product here now for less than half price, plus throw in gratis geek cred for having one of the coolest games in existence for the iPhone!  Word.  /slams mic down Chris Rock-style

• Version reviewed – 1.1
• Lite (demo) version available – yes
• iTunes music supported – no but who cares the music is great!

Tags: $4.99, archibald's adventures, Games, platformer, Swain Valasek