iPhone App Reviews

WTF: Pocket Performance Review

Michael (Admin) | Jan 6, 2010 Entertainment, WTF?!

User rating: (3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

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'Bad news, gotta send you to the unemployment line, yo'

Pocket Performance Review is on sale for free – normally $.99

Don’t be shocked if you see Michael Scott using this app in a future episode of The Office! Pocket Performance Review is a collection of executive decisions that are vocalized by 12 different personalities that run the gamut from a typical office chump (Mr. Littleman) to a gangsta (Master B) to a granny (Nellie). You can change the names of the personalities if you want, and by either shaking or selecting the various recordings you’ll be able to tell people that they’re fired, laid off, outsourced, taking an unpaid leave, and numerous other types of bad news. It’s not all bad, though, as Back Pocket Software also threw in a few positive messages to tell your minions that they’ve been given a raise or been promoted.

Shaking your iPhone or hitting the “Perform Evaluation” button will select a random message, and you can rig it to land on the evaluation of your choice.

Pocket Performance Review is a joke (literally) and I think it has high potential for being the source of your next office prank if you feel like getting creative. It’s nice and polished, and for the time being it’s free!

iTunes Link – Pocket Performance Review
Version  1.1
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS3.1.2

Tags: funny, practical joke

App Sale: Santa Naughty Nice Detector

Michael (Admin) | Dec 9, 2009 App Sale Alert, Entertainment

User rating: (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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Well duh, *everyone* is naughty!

Santa Naughty Nice Detector is on sale for free – normally $.99

Most young children are pretty stupid, and if you play it up enough they might actually believe that your iPhone can detect whether they’re naughty or nice! And if they believe that, they might also believe they’re suddenly on Santa’s shitlist, and everyone knows you don’t get any presents when the fat man’s got it in for you.

Normally I wouldn’t bother writing about an app like this, but it’s Christmas season and silly things like this come with the territory. aHandSoft even went as far as building in a “chance” meter that, with some sleight of hand, could make it appear as if the meter actually works when one kid is nice and the other is decidedly naughty.

This Naughty Nice Detector looks very festive and it’s executed pretty well, but still I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t pay a dollar for this app… free, however, is doable if you’re in a house full of gullible children or at an office Christmas party in need of some holiday nonsense.

iTunes Link -Santa Naughty Nice Detector

Tags: $.99, Christmas, practical joke, seasonal

Escape Pod

Michael (Admin) | Sep 17, 2008 Productivity

User rating: (4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)

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We’ve all been there: some idiot, probably your girlfriend or boyfriend, is talking your ear off about absolute crap, and you’re desperately looking for an excuse to hang up asap without being the bad guy. Dardan Software’s Escape Pod provides that excuse and guess what? IT WORKS! Just put your phone on speaker, select your desired sound, tap the Star Wars escape pod image to play it, and chances are the person you’re talking to will eat it up.

I was on the phone with a friend of mine yesterday and I played a few of Escape Pod’s sound loops and he said they all sounded believable. Just to be sure, I did a couple of blind tests with other friends… in one of those conversations I played the crying baby sound. She got all concerned and was like “I didn’t know you had a baby! Do you need to go take care of him?” I played it up a bit and said I was gonna shake the crying brat into submission, but eventually I came clean and told her I was using Escape Pod. Her response? “You’re an ASS!” :mrgreen: Nice! She totally bought it.

Escape Pod comes with a bunch of sounds, most of which are realistic with a few joke sounds mixed in, ie: UFO attack, and you can choose to repeat or play them just once (background sounds like subway station should definitely be set to repeat). A really cool feature that’s built in is the ability to record your own sounds which would come in handy if you truly plan to use this app for its intended purpose. Be careful though… you might want to test out some of the sounds to see if they loop well enough to be believable on a longer phone call. Some of them aren’t quite as seamless as others.

If there’s one thing I would ask for in a future update it would be the ability to start up Escape Pod before answering (or making) a phone call. In its current form, any sounds you’re playing will stop when you switch to the phone. The fact that the iPod will automatically shut down under the same circumstances suggests that this might not be possible, but if it could be done it would make me feel a lot better about not getting busted as I’m lying my way out of a conversation.

Another nice thing would be more standalone sounds. It’s great to have sounds like the subway station background and traffic noises, but because Escape Pod has to be launched in mid-call it would seem practical to have more sounds that can start and stop without raising suspicion. The crying baby is awesome, as is the doorbell, but it would be nice to also have sounds like a dog barking, someone pounding on the door, and maybe a few more joke sounds like maybe “Police! Open up!”

Whether you’re really trying to weasel your way out of a phone call or just want to play jokes on your friends, Escape Pod is a cool app that, so far, has fooled all three of the friends I’ve tried it on. $1.99 is a pretty small price to pay, and the ability to record your own sounds means that the deceptive possibilities are really pretty endless.

Tags: $1.99, funny, practical joke