iPhone App Reviews

iSpace 3D

Michael (Admin) | Jul 27, 2009 Entertainment

User rating: (No Ratings Yet)

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There are a few apps out there that try to take you on a virtual tour of The Milky Way and show you the rings around Ur-anus, but iSpace 3D ain’t one of them! Vanilla Breeze’s entry into the space tour app genre is just a leisurely stroll through outer space that doesn’t attempt to educate you on anything; it just plays a celestial-sounding soundtrack and gives you the option to use the app as a big clock.

You can choose to steer your flight with the accelerometer or lock the screen in place and watch stars drift past you.

That’s about it! I don’t know crap about astronomy so I didn’t really notice whether actual celestial bodies are depicted in this app, but if they’re not I think they should be. It would give this space flight some purpose and do a lot for justifying the price. On a brighter note, this app will defer to your iPod, but you have to turn off the iSpace music first, then start your music.

So is iSpace 3D worth $1.99? Eh… not for me, but if you’re a space nut and use a telescope for something other than peeping through windows, you might dig it.

iTunes Link
Version 1.1.1
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS3.0

Tags: $1.99, strictly visual

Colorful Aquarium

Michael (Admin) | Jun 25, 2009 Entertainment

User rating: (4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)

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Do you like colorful fish? Are you too poor to buy an aquarium and too lazy to clean it? Then Colorful Aquarium is for you! Well, maybe.

If I could say one nice thing about lianxing Zhu’s app, it would be that it has pretty good graphics! It really does. The water at the top of the aquarium looks great, the fish look cool and they swim around and occasionally dart here and there, and if you shake your iPhone the plants will sway back and forth. Well done.

Ok, I’ll say another nice thing about this app… the interface for adding objects (fish and plants) is decent. Swipe your finger up to pull the fish menu out of the bottom of the screen, swipe down to pull the plants out of the top. Very simple, and the little “help” animations are good, too.

But that’s it! I’m out of nice things to say because there’s nothing else going on in this app. Add plants. Add fish. Yawn.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: $2.99, strictly visual

Q&F: Audiogasm

Michael (Admin) | Jan 13, 2009 Music, Quick & Free

User rating: (4 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

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Ooohhh baby… it’s Audiogasm! Great name for an app, and the app itself isn’t too bad either.

Audiogasm is a visualization thingy just like you’ll find in most desktop media players. It reacts to sounds picked up by the iPhone’s mic and creates all kinds of crazy animated patterns in response. Shake the iPhone to change the animation and swipe a finger across the screen to take a screenshot of it.

It’s a pretty cool app that we all knew someone would create eventually… in fact, there are a few different visualizers available in the iTunes App Store right now. Unfortunately they all share one major shortcoming that the developers don’t have any control over: they can’t play visualizations while the iPod is running! Yeah that blows. Blame it on the device, blame it on Apple, but you really can’t blame TMSOFT. They want the app to be able to rock with the iPod but it’s just not technically possible, and they say this right upfront in their app description.

Audiogasm is currently “free for a limited time!” so if you like zoning out to psychedelic patterns while your non-iPod music is blaring, go get it. The visualizations are pretty cool and very responsive so even the most discerning stoner should be able to enjoy it.

Whoa dude that's a trippy phone you got there

Tags: free, strictly visual

3D Fireworks

Michael (Admin) | Nov 19, 2008 Entertainment

User rating: (4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)

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3D Fireworks is a pretty cool visual show that’s probably best suited for desk jockeys and frequent fliers on Air Bud. The bored office slave with a recharging cradle could let it run all day like a screensaver, and the bored stoner could just stare at it nonstop until the pizza guy finally shows up.

This app has one character flaw that I’ll harp on in a bit, but it does come with some nice viewing options. You get to control the color of the sky to simulate three different times of night while random fireworks get launched upwards, there’s a pause button in case you just can’t bear to miss a single explosion, and you can also move around the sky while the bombs are bursting in air.

The best feature, of course, is the ability to produce your own fireworks displays by tapping around the screen… and this is where The Flaw starts to become apparent. As far as I can tell, tapping is the only way to ensure that you get a great show. When the fireworks are just launching on their own they don’t come anywhere close to filling the screen and almost always seem to be off-center. It’s possible to position yourself for a “good view” and then lock the camera in place, but that view never lasts long. It’s like the self-launching rockets are absolutely determined to put on a half-assed show.

In most ways I think KDR Software did a nice job on 3D Fireworks. The sound is limited which I like, the graphics are great, and the ability to play while the iPod is running is key.

It lacks an oooohh-aaaaahh sound option which I think would be hilarious to add in, but first on my wishlist would be adjusting the auto-play to produce spectacular, screen-filling shows… or at least incorporate some options to control the size and frequency of the auto-rockets. 3D Fireworks is already a pretty good app for tapping out a show, but a smarter autoplay engine would make it great.

A “lite” version that provides a limited fireworks show is also available.

Tags: $.99, good for kids, lite version, strictly visual

Virtual Zippo® Lighter

Michael (Admin) | Sep 25, 2008 Lifestyle

User rating: (7 votes, average: 4.14 out of 5)

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I just got done bitching about an app called Lighter because the developer is planning to charge for it after the free trial is over. It doesn’t look like Moderati is planning to charge for the Virtual Zippo Lighter… my guess is that Zippo already paid them plenty to engineer this exercise in brand marketing… so I’ll be far kinder here.

Simply put, Virtual Zippo Lighter totally lives up to its name. I’m not saying this just because it’s free forever, I’m saying it because it’s 100% true. You open the Zippo by shaking your iPhone or swiping in an upward direction on the screen. Sorry, a quick tap doesn’t work here. Why? Because it doesn’t work in real life!

Once the Zippo is open, a swipe downward on the wheel will turn it to ignite the flame. The flame, which is completely true to an actual flame from this type of lighter, even responds to accelerometer movements as you tilt your iPhone this way and that. Shake or swipe right/down to close the lighter and admire the steel-cased handiwork Zippo is famous for.

Not only is this an awesome lighter simulation from top to bottom, even including the way a Zippo sounds, Moderati also gives you no less than 20 different Zippo models to choose from by swiping through the selections across the bottom of the Customize screen. Plenty of different styles are represented, ranging from basic chrome for people who think they’re classy to “anarchy” for weird emo types to bling and guitars for the rockstars of the world.

If you want a lighter for your iPhone and a crappy Bic won’t cut it, get this Virtual Zippo. It’s a no-brainer. And if you’re close enough to the stage you might even get a shoutout from the band.

Tags: free, strictly visual, useless

Lighter

Michael (Admin) | Sep 25, 2008 Utilities

User rating: (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)

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I’m feeling kind of ornery today, so I’m gonna rip on an application just for existing. Normally I wouldn’t do this to a free app, but according to Chillingo Ltd’s description for Lighter, the free deal is a “special introductory offer – free for 1st week!”

So how much are they going to be charging? 99 cents? Two bucks? Three? Man, I really hope it’s not three.

By my count, there are at least ELEVEN lighter apps out there. Many are free and the others are priced at a semi-reasonable $.99 for those who like to flush good money down the toilet. Any “lighter app” that charges more than that should be booted from the App Store on grounds of attempted price gouging and insulting the intelligence of iPhone users.

Lighter is, itself, an app that isn’t bad for lighter junkies. It offers three types of lighters: Bic, Zippo, and the fancy kind you “slide” open to ignite. The flame animations are nice, except for the Zippo flame which looks nothing like an actual Zippo flame. What, you think I’m being overly picky? It’s my right… nay, it’s my duty… to be picky here. Remember, this app will eventually cost money! Apps that are indefinitely free get a pass. Apps that are “free for 1st week” do not.

Chillingo admits that there are problems with Lighter crashing and they’re planning to fix this with an update, but even after that happens I still say it’s a tragic waste of money to pay for this kind of thing.

If you insist on having a lighter on your iPhone, please do the smart thing and get Lighter while it’s free or get some other free one – there are plenty out there, like this kickass Virtual Zippo.

Let’s challenge developers to spend their time developing apps that are actually unique rather than encouraging them to play copycat. The iTunes App Store is cluttered enough as it is.

(stepping down from my soap box now)

Tags: $.99, free, strictly visual, trial period, useless

Crossy

Michael (Admin) | Sep 23, 2008 Entertainment

User rating: (No Ratings Yet)

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I just added up the category totals in the iTunes App Store and there are currently 3,772 applications available. Buried in that mountain of software is Crossy which I’m pretty sure has been around longer than most of those apps, yet it’s only been reviewed 19 times.

I don’t know why I never bothered to download it before… I guess I’m just not a huge fan of apps that don’t actually “do” something… but there’s something strangely appealing about Crossy. It’s a “snowglobe” for your iPhone and comes with a tranquil mountain scene set against a giant Swiss Flag backdrop. Swiss crosses gently rain down from the sky like snowflakes and will change direction based on how you’re tilting your iPhone, kind of like a real snowglobe.

A nice feature that Vayen built into Crossy is the ability to switch out the Swiss mountain scene with a photo from your camera roll. Just tap the camera icon, select a photo, and let the snow-crosses wash over you forever and ever and ever. If you’re an idiot like me and choose a photo of raw meat as your backdrop, you can always revert back to Swiss tranquility by tapping the refresh icon at the bottom of the screen.

Crossy is simple, free, and well-executed. It’s a gift. Go on, try it out.

Tags: free, strictly visual

iChalky

Michael (Admin) | Sep 22, 2008 Entertainment

User rating: (35 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)

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iChalky’s description in the App Store reads like a case study on iPhone accelerometer physics. Eric Metois, iChalky’s creator, uses words like ‘coefficients’ and ‘heuristics’ and ‘perceptual measurements’. It all adds up to a quirky application that sends a frantic little chalkboard stick figure shaking and bouncing around on your iPhone screen as he tries to keep his balance.

I guess the clinical-sounding App Store text is fitting because iChalky really feels like an exercise that tests the iPhone’s accelerometer behavior and sound sensitivity. If you hold your iPhone really still, Chalky will stand motionless with a blank look on his face until he detects some kind of movement that sends him flailing about in an uncontrollable frenzy. Music and other sounds can also make him spaz out as he tries to “dance” to the beat. I can’t really criticize his dancing skills, but it’s fair to say he’s a way better dancer than me.

If watching a stick figure jiggle and shake isn’t enough you can also torture poor Chalky by grabbing him at any of his extremities or joints and stretch him in every direction. Drag him around by his head, by his hands, by his feet, by the “x” that forms his waist… or all of the above if you’re feeling especially sadistic. Chalky’s just hanging out and has nowhere to go, so you’re free to do with him what you will.

iChalky is unusual, unique, funny in an odd way, and above all it’s an interesting study in iPhone physics. It’s not for everyone, especially those with a short attention span, but at $.99 it might be worth installing if you’re looking for something new and off-the-wall or if you’re just interested in the experimental.

Tags: $.99, good for kids, strictly visual

Disco Ball

Michael (Admin) | Aug 22, 2008 Entertainment

User rating: (5 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)

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The next time you’re at a club and the DJ fires up an Abba track, look for the nearest disco ball and you’ll see a guy standing directly beneath it screaming WOOO! WOOO! with his arms flailing wildly about. And that guy will be Aaron Berk.

If there’s one thing Aaron loves more than screaming WOOO! it’s disco balls, so he went and made his own disco ball for the iPhone. Unlike Crazy Disco‘s monochromatic sphere, this disco ball fills your screen from corner to corner with big flashy blocks of disco madness! You can swipe it to make it spin faster, but also unlike Crazy Disco it doesn’t explode or play stock disco loops.

There’s one more way that Aaron Berk’s Disco Ball is different from Crazy Disco… it lets you play your own music while the ball is spinning!

And thus concludes the Great iPhone Disco Ball War. We have a winner.

Disco Ball 1, Crazy Disco 0.

Tags: $.99, strictly visual

Crazy Disco

Michael (Admin) | Aug 20, 2008 Entertainment

User rating: (2 votes, average: 1.50 out of 5)

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Want a “party in your pocket”? Yeah, I bet you do! Crazy Disco claims to be that pocket party (still sounds kinda sick no matter how you say it), as well as a conversation starter and a way to be “Mr. Cool”.

As iPhone disco balls go, I guess Crazy Disco isn’t all bad. It’s a very nice animation that really looks like a spinning disco ball and you can spin it one way to hear an uptempo disco beat and spin it the other way to get a little moodier. The tempo of the music clip will also speed up or slow down as you swipe your finger to control the disco ball’s speed, and if you spin it fast enough the ball will eventually go nuts and explode.

There’s an option to turn off auto-lock so that your disco ball stays visible for as long as you have the app running, and the final touch is that you get to shake your iPhone to hear it go “whoop! whoop!” which actually sounds more like that noise police cars make when they want you to get the hell out of the way.

Crazy Disco looks great and even the two disco tracks sound ok, but this app’s downfall is its insistence on playing the built-in disco instead of your music. Imagine you’re having a party and running all of the music from your iPhone. Wouldn’t it be cool to show the disco ball instead of the now-playing song’s “artwork” which is probably blank anyway? Yeah sorry, can’t do it. The second you turn on Crazy Disco, you’re stuck with one of two disco loops.

I’m not a big fan of apps that are strictly visual, meaning they don’t really do anything but look pretty. For people who DO like that kind of thing, Crazy Disco might be worth $.99 if it would let you play your own music while the ball spins. Until that happens, it’s pretty worthless.

Tags: $.99, strictly visual