WTF: Pretty Poo
Michael (Admin) | Sep 16, 2009 Entertainment, WTF?!
User rating: 
(5 votes, average: 4.40 out of 5)
(5 votes, average: 4.40 out of 5)
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Pretty Poo is the exact reason there’s a WTF category on iPhone App Reviews!
Digital Mint has created a cartoon piece of poo that doesn’t like flies, but flies like poo, so it’s your job to keep the flies away by shaking your iPhone or blowing on the mic. Flies go away, poo is happy, but naturally the flies come back for more, circle of life, rinse and repeat.
I’d like to tell you that there’s more to Pretty Poo than that, but that would make me a big fat liar! The developer bills Pretty Poo as a “designer app” so I guess it’s meant to be appreciated more for style than substance. I’ll admit that this is a nicely assembled app despite the laughably stupid premise… makes me wonder what Digital Mint could do if they were to venture beyond the limited realm of cute & quirky.
iTunes Link – Pretty Poo
Version 1.0
Reviewed on iPhone 3G OS3.1
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- Poor Pretty Poo is crying because of all the flies! Awww...
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- Now there's a happy turd
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- Oh crap, they're back (pun totally intentional here)
WTF: iWakeupGirls
Michael (Admin) | Aug 27, 2009 Entertainment, WTF?!
User rating: 
(3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Waking up to a beeping alarm clock sucks. That’s why there are apps that let you wake up to your music instead, or perhaps some internet radio from around the world. That’s great and all, but pathetic losers like me who wake up alone every day with morning wood demand more!!
iWakeupGirls by Branded Research is a goofy collection of really short video clips that start looping when the app’s built-in alarm goes off. Instead of being jolted out of dreamland by your usual means, you get your choice of a bunch of hot girls with one-liner wake up phrases that range from slutty “good mornings” to other things that are more obscure or just plain weird. Here’s a quick sampling of some of the more bizarre phrases you’ll hear from the ladies of iWakeupGirls:
Coffee is for closers, now you better get with the program!
Gym… bar… gym… bar…?
Hey, this is a corporate environment!
You can be an angel, or you can be a devil.
Urgent weather bulletin, tornado coming through! ( and the girl starts spinning)
Um… huh? I sort of get the corporate stuff (of which there’s plenty), but some of these other phrases… eh whatever! If you’re truly waking up, it doesn’t really matter what what the girls are babbling about as long as you can hear it in your sleep.
WTF: Affirmations Pro
Michael (Admin) | Aug 5, 2009 Lifestyle, WTF?!
User rating: (2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
(2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5) Loading ...
Welcome to the very first app review to fall under the newly-minted category WTF?!
When I’m feeling down, nothing brightens my day more than encouraging words from a creepy robotic voice!
I am rock solid!
I am confident at all times!
Other people think I am a good person!
My self-confidence is my weapon against the world!
Apparently Affirmations Pro comes with a total of 90 affirmations that sound like they were recorded with the talking voice from a 20-year-old Mac, and to treat yourself to these first-person nuggets of wisdom all you need to do is tap on the ultra-cool sunglass smiley faces that fill the screen.
Double Feature: iButterToast and iJog
Michael (Admin) | Jul 22, 2009 Entertainment
User rating: (No Ratings Yet)
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This is Part 2 of my fact-finding mission for that plucky reporter who’s investigating oddball apps, and this time around I’m asking the codehounds to promise to post a comment with your thoughts on the app in exchange for the promo code!
So are either of these apps really worth your time? One of them has you buttering a piece of virtual toast with your finger and the other is literally a finger treadmill. Huh?? Well believe it or not, I kind of like buttering the toast! If there were a Hall of Fame for the Dumbest iPhone Games of All Time, iButterToast would be a first ballot shoo-in, yet I actually had a little fun trying to butter the toast in record time.
iJog, the finger treadmill, isn’t what I’d call “fun”… tedious is more like it… but it really is a workout for your fingers.
iPoop
Michael (Admin) | Jun 18, 2009 Healthcare & Fitness
User rating: (9 votes, average: 3.78 out of 5)
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Ask most people if they admire their bowel movements before flushing and they’ll cringe and go ‘ewww no!’ but my personal estimate is that 99% of those poopers are also liars! You see, even if your doo-doo isn’t big enough to get your picture in the Guinness Book of World Records, most people are vaguely aware that it’s an indicator of what’s going on inside your body, plus it’s only natural to want to have a look at what just came out of your ass.
Despite iPoop’s semi-funny name, it’s actually a somewhat serious app whose aim is to help you better understand the big pile of stink you just left on your bosses desk, I mean, in the toilet. While you definitely shouldn’t be using any iPhone app to self-diagnose health conditions, the poo-related facts this app contains are kind of interesting.
Hot Dog Down a Hallway
Michael (Admin) | May 14, 2009 Games
User rating: (34 votes, average: 3.09 out of 5)
(34 votes, average: 3.09 out of 5) Loading ...
Ok… I have no idea what the developers at Metaversal Studios are smoking… but I WANT SOME!! Hot Dog Down a Hallway is a hilarious game that would totally be #1 if Obscure Sexual Innuendo were an App Store category. If you’re unfamiliar with the hotdog expression… ummmm… I think I’ll let Urban Dictionary do the explaining!
Getting back to Hot Dog, it’s a surprisingly fun game where your goal is to launch a hotdog as far down a hallway as possible. First you have to “poke a pig” (literally), preferably when the adjacent meat grinder is at maximum power, and after the pig leaps into the grinder a very happy-looking sausage comes flying out. How far down the hallway your weiner goes is, in my estimation, 90% luck and 10% skill, but it’s still a funny and addicting way to pass some time.
Q&F: Scent of a Chicken
Michael (Admin) | Apr 1, 2009 Entertainment, Quick & Free
User rating: (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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With the iTunes App Store now sporting about 30,000 apps, developers are desperate to stand out from the crowd. How desperate, you ask? Desperate enough that one company has figured out a way to MAKE YOUR iPHONE SMELL LIKE CHICKEN.
Yeah, you read that right! I never, ever, ever imagined that I’d be typing these words but it’s true: you can make your iPhone smell like a rotisserie chicken. When the Scent of a Chicken review request came in I was like pfffffft yeah right these people are idiots… but what’s amazing is that it actually works! Tap the picture of the big juicy chicken, wait about 20 seconds, and suddenly it’ll smell like you’re at a summer barbecue. Seriously, it smells EXACTLY like roasted chicken. Un-freakin-believable.
